As promised I bring you a brilliant romance novel review by Miss Emma! But before you continue on to her sass and snark, can I just present this AMAZING cover:
We have the obligatory heavy petting, neck kisses, and what could possibly be a mullet. But what about the strange holographic sticker of another couple hooking up! The Packers colors! What appears to be a seagull getting ready to drop a deuce on our couple…
Anyhoo, on to the review!
The heroine: Antonia Winston y Ortega, fondly known as Tonia (you’d be informal too, yes?), is a half-Spanish, blond, high-spirited virgin daughter of an old-time California ranchero. God knows you can’t have a minority heroine, even in Spanish California. Tonia’s leading characteristics seem to be a tempting figure, the tendency to prove her high spirits by throwing tantrums and an inability to form a successful escape plan.
The hero: Captain Michael Domino, a wealthy sea captain who is out for revenge, but actually spends most of the book riding desperately to rescue Tonia from somewhere or other. Believe it or not, the good captain actually has even less of a personality than his lady-love. Leading characteristics are an unexplained raging cynicism about women, a much-mentioned but never demonstrated business acumen, and a fondness for plans with a lot of steps.
The plot: Tonia is sheltered, but very spirited and headstrong. So when she’s betrothed to El Senor Dominguez, who she doesn’t really know and doesn’t love, she decides to run away. She runs, in fact, right into Captain Domino, who is out for revenge against her fiancée for a series of reasons that kind of stack up as the book goes on. So she hits on the brilliant plan of having sex with him so that she won’t be a virgin so her fiancée won’t want to marry her. But, naturally, this sex causes the two to fall madly in love.